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It’s the final day of 2021.

How do you process the end of / the start of the new year?

Do you make resolutions?

For me, New Year Resolutions = instant pressure. The need to do it all. Figure it ALL out. Change all of the things we didn’t like about ourselves this past year. The end all be all for becoming our best selves the next year. New Year, New Me…right?

NO.

I have a confession. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Haven’t in probably 10 years now.

Why? Because they’re typically all about taking something away and feel restricting, more like punishment for something you aren’t enough of (again I’m looking at you New Year, New Me).

And when I restrict, I resist. My brain will make me go into a cycle of remorse, regret, or tell me I didn’t try hard enough. I’ll resist doing the thing I told myself I had to do to be better because it doesn’t feel good to do. Then cue giving up altogether because I’m frustrated that I’m “not trying hard enough” and feeling shitty because I didn’t keep my resolution.

But resolutions typically set us up to fail. That cycle happens because the mindset of a making a resolution is negative, taking away from your life, instead of positive and adding value to your life. Why must we punish ourselves when trying to make changes?

So let me share what I do instead.

I make a promise. A promise that encourages me to live my life to the fullest and to be a better person every day.

What that means to me is to live my values and ADD to my life through my promises.

• I value kindness and benevolence, so I promise to build this business so I can add more goodness to elevate and help more people.

• I value health and want to have energy to do things I love with people I love, so I promise to visit the farmer’s market and choose nourishing foods that will provide that energy.

• I value learning, so I promise to sign up for a fun new class (I’m thinking pottery).

• I value community, so I promise to share, support, and activity engage with my community.

 Trust me, you’re going to have a lot more success adding something fun, nutritious, or interesting to your life than you will ever have trying to take something away. Adding will also helps you really dig into what you want to change and understanding why through your values allows you to live your life with purpose. And that purpose drives us to be more conscious of our choices.

Being more conscious of our choices also involves a sense of empowerment. Each day we wake up we can make choices. We are responsible for our day to day choices, and life is just a large collection of these small decisions. When you feel empowered to consciously add more things you love and enjoy, there becomes less space for the things you want to get rid of or that don’t seem to be working, and they naturally crowd out of your life. You’ll lean more into what’s working.

Give yourself permission to let go of the restricting mindset that's not serving you. Give yourself the loving grace to make a promise and add to your life instead setting resolutions.

So what promise will you make to yourself this New Year? Here’s to a Happy 2022!