Wildly Well with Jena Stagner
Wildly Well is a series of fun Friday chats with the experts (entrepreneurs, coaches, and creators in the culinary, wellness, fitness, and medical spaces) on how to create and live your most wildly healthy and joyful life. People who have wholeheartedly leaned into their wellness journeys to help you enhance your relationship with food, movement, self-care, and holistic well-being so you can live the most joyful life you want. We hope you enjoy our conversations with these amazing people and brands. We know they are going to enrich your lives.
We are so incredibly honored and excited to have Jena Stagner of Real Life Whole Life here today to share her wisdom profound discoveries about living with ADHD! Jena is that friend you wish you always had. By sharing her authentic interests, she has been discovering her true self and inspiring others to discover their true authentic ADHD selves. She wants you to transform how the world views ADHA so you can know that you make sense. I just adore her and she’s been enabling me to see so much truth about myeslf. Follow along as we learn more about Jena’s journey — and check out our IG chat for more.
What inspired your journey to creating Real Life Whole Life?
In Feb 2020 I went to a transformational workshop and discovered the power of integrity and living a life from authenticity. And I wanted to start sharing my personal thoughts, feelings, discoveries around wellness and didn’t want to bombard my friends with all this wellness stuff if they weren’t interested and so went to create a new IG account and those words showed up instantaneously without even thinking.. And it was available everywhere. I didn’t know what it meant at the time and that I had titled my methodology of having my world work. It then led to the nutrition program, then to getting diagnosed, then to tiktok, then to a community, and for me it’s my methodology for my own self-discovery journey that I now want to help others discover and leverage in their own worlds! And also to some degree help them discover that they are already doing it, they just didn’t have the language for it yet!
What does Real Life Whole Life mean to you?
Radical Authenticity. When we get real with how things are for us we can see, connect and create would make the difference in helping us align with what we wanted.
How and when were you diagnosed with ADHD?
I was diagnosed October 2020. Being at home full time was a huge adjustment to me. And not only was home hard, I also had so much space to do what I wanted and no longer had all of my former excuses to depend on for not being able to do the easy things I needed to do. I felt like I had tried everything and knew all the right answers and still struggled so hard with simple things like unloading the dishwasher when complex challenges felt far more easier. I’ve explained it as.. I believe it would be easier for me to give a Ted Talk than clean my floors. And the important is impossible with ADHD and I just randomly was inspired to google adhd in the podcast app and discovered a podcast that within minutes discovered that I wasn’t alone and my experience of life actually made perfect sense.
As an ADHD Living Strategist/Holistic Living Strategist, what does that encompass? What does that mean? How do you help people?
So I now call myself an ADHD and Authenticity Advocate… I haven’t yet found a “title” that encompasses what I do. :P
You’ve built your community and people trust you so much, it’s truly beautiful to watch what you’ve built and how you help people. BIG NEWS you just brought to life a group program. Tell us about that!
Yes!! It was my methodology in practice! It had been seven months I had been trying to launch this program and was struggling so hard and was wrapped up in so much shame and trying to fix myself to make it happen. I realized I didn’t have anyone that I could authentically shared this with and was randomly inspired one day to create a FB group after I kept trying over and over to create a course for those who were interested in my membership and I went live sharing my real life experience. Inside of that, one of the people in the group responded with “it sounds more like an experience than a course” and that is exactly what Real Life Whole Life means to me. That together we can take care of ourselves. I simply showed up with my real life and she shared what she was able to see. And inside of that we birthed The Real Life Whole Life Experience! Which is a whole other story in and of itself filled with so many miracles!
You wear so many hats. You also have a photography business, are a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, create content for RLWL, and run your group program. How do you manage to do it all and still make self-care a priority?
This is a beautiful question. I do wear so many hats. And I actually like to think of them like shoes. And with this brain, and in many ways feeling very disconnected from myself and who I am, I tried on a lot of shoes trying to figure out which one “fits” me. And inside of that I have done a lot. It’s wild as from the outside this is the most common thing I hear people say. And if you were a fly on the wall my life looks more like a retired person. At this stage while my photography business is a thriving business, I have built it in a way that it runs so efficiently over the past seven years. And then on top of that everything else I do is really all about my own self-care and well being first. In what I’m creating I have discovered if I am not operating from a state of overflow it doesn’t work. Everything I am creating comes from a space of authenticity and listening to my intuition and gut on things. And so if I’m not connected to my body I am lost when it comes to what I do and it doesn’t feel good. I now know so clearly what it feels like to create from a place of abundance energy and what it feels like to create from trying energy and the feedback in almost instantaneous. And staying present is the only thing that helps me to be aware of that. And when I lose my presence it doesn’t feel good and I’ll pull back and realign to what feels good, get back to a space of abundance and overflow and begin again newly.
What are your secrets for preserving your self and sanity?
Acceptance and no expectations. I am human and I am always doing my best. What I resist persists and there is no arriving. I have so many massive dreams and desires. And generate possibilities of what I can and what to do all the time. And if it doesn’t make sense to take the step now I have to practice giving it up and getting back into the moment. It’s quite impossible most of the time. And it’s also my sanity that returns and it is my sanity that goes when I resist my real life.
What is your philosophy on food and eating?
I can only do what I can do. It’s better to eat in freedom than judgemental eating. I would now say I am an intuitive eater. And that has at times looked like going through a Burger King drive thru and getting what I want. This is actually a live I did in The Real Life Whole Life experience.
Because I can either a) crave burger king and resist and fight myself and judge that I want burger king.. Or b) I can accept and go do it. And if I’m not shaming myself I am able to actually be with the fact it doesn’t feel good. I become aware of how burger king feels in my body and connect with that so when I get those cravings again I can remember and recall.
I guess at the end of the day, it would be not resisting my intuition and finding ways to eat food without shame that’s a big driver for me. And I also find that as I grow and heal my body different foods show up as aligned and interesting.
I’m big on chakras and eating for the chakras and so I may try to force myself to eat green foods.. Or I can work on grounding and expanding my energy in my heart space and then when I go to the grocery story I will randomly discover my intuition is wanting me to get green foods. I’m then responding to my desires to eat a salad compared to forcing myself which again comes down to real life whole life for me and honoring what is most authentic so I can be with it and work through the shame that’s around it so that I can grow into desires that serve my body all the more.
How does Nutritional Therapy play a role in your vision and helping others?
It does and I don’t lead with it. I got certified for myself as I believe when it come to my wellbeing, the state of the health in our country, and what health care may look like in the future, I wanted to be equipped with what would help me take care of me. On top of that, I want to help care for my family and friends if interested. While I was interested in building a business around nutritional therapy when I got diagnosed with ADHD I discovered the actually interested I had with getting certified. Because the important is impossible for ADHD, ADHD is actually a wellbeing disorder. And getting the right information about how to fix a, b or c was great.. And I found what’s even more challenging is remembering to drink water.. Remembering to eat food. Making food is a whole executive dysfunction challenge for me. The shame I had around knowing the right answers around food and not being able to do it was a big big big challenge for me. So I am now more interested in making well being possible for those who struggle with their well being which would include those like myself with ADHD.
I know you recently rediscovered the joy of cooking for yourself. YAY! How has this had an effect on your relationship with food and yourself?
Yes! You have played a huge role in inspiring me to get creative with food and eating in a way of aligning with my self-worth. AND this is a great example of the world of get yourself before you fix yourself.. I did amazing and then took SO many steps backwards. And I have been wanting to judge myself and make myself wrong as I can’t seem to get back to that. And can see I was inspired to do it and wasn’t yet aligned to do it. And it’s learning how to release shame to align back to that compared to judging myself and trying to fix myself because I “can’t” do that.. And using it as an opportunity to do self discovery work so that I am driven to eat like that in a way that makes sense and is simple, easy and fun compared to needing to depend on external inspiration. So I’m not there yet and still in discovery of how to create that. And I know our call today will light up more opportunities to align with that!
I fully believe that cooking for yourself is an act of self-love. Do you have any tips for ADHD people wanting to start cooking for themselves but feel intimidated or overwhelmed?
I have so many tips I could share.. And what shows up is “you can only do what you can do”.. And food is a very big challenge for those with ADHD as there are so many executive function demands which is a real challenge for those with ADHD.
What works for me is emergency food.. something in the freezer and something like a protein shake. I like soylent. Protein shakes have works for me in the past and at this stage it’s too many steps and so I have to trust myself when I say I can’t do that right now and not try to force myself to make myself protein shakes. I’m not authentically interested and that’s okay. I might get back there one day and that’s not right now…
And then making 3 dinners a week, which right now I hello fresh has been what I’ve been using. Which is so hard as there is some big judgemental shame that comes up cause I know all the right answers and want to eat organic and clean and can find some big shame around ordering hello fresh and that’s what works for me. Their recipes are easy and simple and takes a ton of the demands on my executive function away.
Especially when cooking after about 2 PM it gets all the more challenging. And for a season with working from home I made dinner around the middle of the day and that actually worked really well for me.
How can diet and stress play a role in managing ADHD?
This is a whole topic in and of itself.. ADHD is a wellbeing disorder and the things that would help ADHD are often out of reach and impossible. And this is one reason why I’ve taken a different route as for me the “right answers” when it comes to diet and nutrition simply had me be driven by stress to do them impacting my well being all the more.
Food addiction or binge eating is so common with ADHD.. Or for me I struggle to remember to eat.. It’s a whole world. And I have found for me.. Shifting my beliefs first before I try and tackle diet or what I eat is so key. So while it very much helps to manage ADHD.. if we start there it will heap on more shame and as I have said recently.. Shame keeps us stuck in the parking lot of life and so traction is really hard when we start with trying to fix diet to manage adhd.
What are your action tips for when we feel so overwhelmed by societal expectations? Society puts so much pressure on us to always be on and up to meet the demands.
“I can only do what I can do” and “I am always doing my best” .. Shifting beliefs for me is the best action step. I like to take what my mind is telling me that is putting pressure on me and shifting it to giving me permission.. For example.. I will see something and my mind will instantly go “I can’t do that” when it comes to food or whatever.. And before I’d try to figure out how to get myself to do it.. Now I would say “correct, i can’t do that”... is there something I could do after seeing this? Is there something I want to do? It’s not trying to break through a wall (shame) and instead turning around and walking away in freedom.
What are some ways people can learn to manage their ADHD by slowing down, paying attention to their stressors, emotions, triggers?
This is a great question and why I believe it’s great is that it really helps me paint a picture of what doesnt’ work for the ADHD brain. We only can do what we can do and this “be still” “slow down” request will often be told to me by those who are uncomfortable and want to control my too much. And with that while it may be what would serve me.. We only can do what we can do.. It’s why I say “just” is the worst thing to say with ADHD.. and we treat ourselves the worst and so very often we subconsciously try to tell our self to “just” slow down and we aren’t allowing ourselves to actually be as we are with how we are. Which in a round about way does slow us down. What I have found value in is finding tools that I can do to help me feel grounded and in the present moment. One a friend shared with me is connecting with the feeling and sensation of something. It has to be something mindless and we can only discover tools when we are not in a stress response and in a creative state so trying to fix/change doesn’t work.
What would be your advice to someone who isn’t diagnosed but thinks they could be ADHD?
Such a great question. If you have resonance with me or someone else who has ADHD be open to listening. I like to think of myself almost like an animal in a zoo. And this goes with everyone who shares themselves in my FB group. It’s this experience of “I do that!” when you thought you were the only one. You begin to see yourself in other people and as i like to say, if the shoe fits keep walking.
And there is a real struggle in believing yourself if you have ADHD and a lot of gaslighting and invalidating yourself. I would say if your wellbeing is impacted, you have anxiety or depression, getting assessed regardless is best. AND I will add finding a provider who understands ADHD is key as it is one of the most invaldated and gaslight disorders and so I hear so many stories of people having terrible experiences trying to get diagnosed, especially for women.
And there are SO many tools and resources and those with ADHD can always do what they are authentically interested in so no matter what brain type you have you can benefit from aligning with what works for you.
What does wellness mean to you?
Believing that you are already well. We can’t live beyond what we believe about ourselves. Shame says we are wrong and need to fix ourselves. Freedom says I am well and I have yet discovered how to believe that.. And so for me it’s saying what’s real for me with people who believe me and don’t need to fix me and trust in my own ability to discover what works for me. I guess that would mean for me wellness is creativity.
Are there any initiatives that you are passionate about and want to make a difference?
ADHD!
What are you excited about for the next year?
Discovering what is gets creating launching all that I have dreamed for RLWL
What’s your biggest vice?
“Self-help” .. trying to fix myself..
What do you want to leave our readers with today? Feel free to add anything else you want readers to know or that I may have missed.
The answers are inside of yourself. You may not be able to see them yet and that’s okay. Keep going. Show up and hold on. Your experience is real and don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.
Where can people find you to learn more?
My FaceBook Group! Follow me on TikTok, of course, and to discover the experience for yourself my free FB group! And will be sharing more as it gets creating in the coming weeks!
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